1st July - Sleep, child, sleep!!

Sigh.

Why is it, that all other mothers I speak to seem to have babies who simply nod off into a happy sleep as soon as their head hits the cot mattress? Why is it that these mothers also seem to enjoy hours of blissful peace before their cherubic offspring emerge from their contented naps?

And, more to the point, how have I managed to produce an equally cherubic child, who seems to survive on twenty minutes a day? And still doesn't sleep through the night. (YES! You read right! Yes, he still wakes up! And yes, horror of horrors, I STILL feed him!! Oh, the barely concealed disapproval on many a mother's face when I confess that little gem...)

Today, I attempted to pop D in his cot at 9. He was yawning and I thought, you never know. He might sleep.

He didn't.

Three hours later, and you have a rather more stressful scene. Picture one cherubic baby, now looking rather more like 'screaming baby from a diabolic parallel universe', due to extreme tiredness. Picture one suburban mama, her hair clumped together with sweet potato (thanks for that, D!), her dress also stained with sweet potato, tomato puree and wood varnish, red in the face and about to scream bloody murder.

He eventually went to sleep an hour after that, at 1pm. For about half an hour. ARGH!!!

Still, it gave me some valuable time to get on with varnishing the floor. Oh, the suburban DIY mama's day is never done at the moment...

At present, D is alarmingly trying to tug hubbie's phone charger out of one of our storage boxes in the corner of the room. He's done a very good job actually, considering I deliberately hid it in the darkest recesses of that box. He's moved on from his previous task, which was prising the buttons off our DVD player and eating the Alan Partridge DVD that he found inside. (he liked it as well, must have tasted nice...) He's already prised the shift key off our laptop...lucky it's the one key there are two of, I suppose. He could have picked one of the 'F' keys at the top though...I never use those.

Right. I'd better stop him, before he managed to strangle himself with the phone charger, which he is now wrapping around his neck. Oh god...